Combining Finances is Like a Dimmer Switch
By Kevin Estes
Are you in a committed relationship?
If so, combining finances can be hard!
Not All or Nothing
Many people believe integrating finances is all or nothing.
That’s not the case!
There are infinite ways to combine finances.
It’s not a binary light switch.
It’s more like a dimmer switch.
My Parents
Take my parents, for example. They initially spent what they wanted. Unfortunately, they realized they were spending too much.
They decided to pivot to a cash-based envelope system with three envelopes:
His
Hers
Pot
My mom is super religious - Wednesday small group, Sunday service, ministry, etc. She even helped plant a church! She and my dad were - and still are - very anti-drug.
Hilariously, they called the money they spent together “pot” money.
They each received an equal amount of cash at the beginning of each week:
She could spend her money how she wanted… such as painting supplies.
He could spend his money how he wanted… such as golfing.
The could each save whatever they didn’t spend toward something bigger.
Allocating funds significantly reduced their total spending! The autonomy to spend their fun money how they liked helped reduce their total expenses.
Wife and I
My wife and I have been together 15 years and still haven’t fully combined our accounts.
There are accounts in her name only and other accounts in my name.
We’ve added each other as joint account holders for many of our accounts. However, we still treat them separately. We pay different bills from our “individual” accounts.
Part of the reason is psychological. It works for us!
Friend’s Postnuptial
Without her knowledge, a friend’s husband had been sending money to his family members.
Unfortunately, he got cancer.
When he was sick, his family started reaching out to her for money. She knew that if she didn’t act, they’d sue her for his money.
She and her husband didn’t have a prenup, so they created a postnuptial agreement. She leveraged the legal system to put more financial distance between him and his family.
His estate remained intact. When he passed, his money went where he - not his family - wished.
Do You
It’s critical that you and your significant other do what works best for you!
Thinking about finances as either fully combined or totally separate is overly simplistic. There are millions of options!
Consider going slowly. You and your partner will hopefully have a lifetime to figure it out!
If you’d like a review of your specific situation, feel free to…
Disclaimer
In addition to the usual disclaimers, neither this post nor this image includes any financial, tax, or legal advice.
